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Submissive BDSM Play Partner Check List

By Tammad Rimilia

This checklist should be filled out by a Sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them. This will provide a quick "head-start" to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play. Dominants may wish to work through the checklist, to get a better handle on their specific interests. Switches should go through the checklist twice; one persons Dom and Sub interests may be very different.

For each item, you need to provide two answers:

For experience, write YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity. Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender. Anything clearly specific to male subs has been deleted.

For willingness, indicate for each item how you feel about DOING that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0 to 5.

NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit).

0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don't like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would permit the Dominant to do it if it they really wanted it. (sometimes called a "soft limit").

1 means you don't want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn't object if it was asked of you.

2 means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you.

3 means you usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular or occasional basis.

4 means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis.

5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like it as often as possible.

* Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with your current sex partner(s), but not with casual play-partners.

Note any additional information which might be important for your Dom to know, in the margin to the right.

There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient/target of the activity.

  Experience     Willingness
Abrasion
Age play
Anal sex
Anal plugs (small)
Anal plugs (large)
Anal plug (public, under clothes)
Animal roles
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)
Aromas
Asphyxiation
Auctioned for charity
Bathroom use control
Bestiality
Beating (soft)
Beating (hard)
Blindfolds
Being serviced (sexual)
Being bitten
Breast bondage
Breath control
Branding
Boot worship
Bondage (light)
Bondage (heavy)
Bondage (multi-day)
Bondage (public, under clothing)
Breast whipping
Brown showers (scat)
Cages (locked inside of)
Caning
Catheterization
Cells/Closets (locked inside of)
Chains
Chamber pot use
Chastity belts
Chauffeuring
Choking
Chores (domestic service)
Clothespins
Cock worship
Collars (worn in private)
Collars (worn in public)
Competitions (with other Subs)
Corsets (wearing)
Corset training(waist reduction)
Cuffs (leather)
Cuffs (metal)
Cutting
Dental work(elective)
Diapers(wetting)
Diapers(soiling)
Dilation
Dildoes
Double penetration
Electricity
Enemas
Enemas(non-water)
Enforced chastity
Erotic dance(public)
Examinations (physical)
Exercise (forced/required)
Exhibitionism (friends)
Exhibitionism (strangers)
Eye contact restrictions
Face slapping
Fantasy abandonment
Fantasy rape
Fantasy gang-rape
Fear (being scared)
Fisting (anal)
Fisting (vaginal)
Flogging (light)
Flogging (heavy)
Following orders
Foot worship
Forced bedwetting
Forced dressing
Forced homosexuality
Forced masturbation
Forced nudity (private)
Forced nudity (around others)
Forced servitude
Forced smoking(non-smoker)
Force-feeding
Full head hoods
Gags (cloth)
Gags (rubber)
Gags (tape)
Gags(phallic)
Gags(inflated)
Gas masks
Genital sex
Given away to another Dom (temp)
Given away to another Dom (perm)
Golden showers
Gun play
Hairbrush spankings
Hair pulling
Hand jobs (giving)
Hand jobs (receiving)
Harems (serving w/other subs)
Harnessing (leather)
Harnessing (rope)
Having food chosen for you
Having clothing chosen for you
Head (giving fellatio)
High heel worship
High heel wearing(forced)
Homage with tongue (non-sexual)
Hoods
Hot oils (on genitals)
Hot waxing
Housework (doing)
Human puppy dog
Humiliation (private)
Humiliation (public)
Hypnotism
Ice cubes
Immobilization
Infantilism
Initiation rites
Injections
Japanese rope bondage
Interrogations
Kidnapping
Kneeling
Knife play
Leather clothing
Leather restraints
Lectures for misbehavior
Licking (non-sexual)
Lingerie (wearing)
Manacles & Irons
Manicures (giving)
Massage (giving)
Massage (receiving)
Medical scenes
Modeling for erotic photos
Mouth bits
Mummification
Nipple clamps
Nipple weights
Oral/anal play (rimming)
Over-the-knee spanking
Orgasm denial
Orgasm control
Outdoor scenes
Outdoor sex
Pain (severe)
Pain (mild)
Persona training
Phone sex (serving Dom)
Phone sex (serving Dom's friends)
Phone sex(calling at random)
Phone sex(commercial)
Piercing (temporary)
Piercing (permanent)
Plastic surgery
Prison scenes
Prostitution(public pretend)
Prostitution(actual)
Pony slave
Public exposure
Punishment Scene
Pussy whipping
Pussy worship
Riding crops
Riding the horse (crotch tort.)
Rituals
Religious scenes
Restrictive rules on behavior
Rubber/latex clothing
Rope body harness
Saran wrapping
Scratching - getting
Scratching - giving
Sensory deprivation
Serving
Serving as art
Serving as ashtray
Serving as furniture
Serving as a maid
Serving as toilet (urine)
Serving as toilet (feces)
Serving as waitress
Serving orally (sexual)
Serving others (supervised)
Serving others (unsupervised)
Sexual deprivation (short term)
Sexual deprivation (long term)
Shaving (body hair)
Shaving (head hair)
Skinnydipping
Sleep deprivation
Sleepsacks
Slutty clothing (private)
Slutty clothing (public)
Spanking
Spandex clothing
Speech restrictions
Speculums (Anal)
Speculums (vaginal)
Spreader bars
Standing in corner
Stocks
Straight jackets
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)
Strap-on-dildos (wearing)
Strapping (full body beating)
Suspension (upright)
Suspension (inverted)
Suspension (horizontal)
Supplying partners for Dom
Swallowing semen
Swallowing urine
Swallowing feces
Swapping (one other couple)
Swinging (multiple couples)
Tattooing
Teasing
Tickling
Topless Beaches
Triple penetration
Uniforms
Including others
Vaginal dildo
Verbal humiliation
Vibrator on genitals
Voyeurism (watching others)
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)
Video (watching others)
Video (recordings of you)
Voice training
Water torture
Waxing (hair removal)
Wearing symbolic jewelery
Weight loss(<25 lbs)
Weight loss(>25 lbs)
Weight gain(<25 lbs)
Weight gain(25-50 lbs)
Weight gain(>50 lbs)
Whipping
Wooden paddles
Wrestling
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: yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5
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: yes   no       NO    0 1 2 3 4 5
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Willingness quick-key:
* - I will do with current sex partner only.
NO - I WILL NOT DO that item under ANY circumstances (a hard limit).
0 - No desire, don't like, will permit if special to Dom (soft limit).
1 - Don't want to do, but will.
2 - Willing to do, but has no special appeal.
3 - Usually LIKE doing, on an irregular/ occasional basis.
4 - LIKE doing, would like it on a regular basis.
5 - WILD TURN-ON, would like it as often as possible.

 

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