This fictional story contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts between the characters in it. Unsafe sex practices are depicted, because it is set in a time before the killer STD AIDS; always use a condom. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. This story may only be electronically copied to free sites.
After school, when I got home, I told Mom that Dave was coming over around four o'clock. She looked pleased.
I had about half an hour to wait. I turned on the TV and flipped through the channels. Nothing interested me, so I turned it off. I went to the stereo and flipped through the records. Nothing interested me there either. I grabbed a magazine on the coffee table and sat down, and sat down flipping through it. Then I glanced up and sat that Mom was just sitting at the dining room table watching me. I tried to ignore her, but I couldn't concentrate on the magazine either, so I got up and went to the bathroom. I might as well make sure I'm empty. We might have some time alone. Sex sure is messy. We needed a towel to cleanup, the cum, the vasoline, and maybe some poop, yuck. It's really kind of embarrassing, even just thinking about the perpetration before and the cleanup afterwards. But the middle part makes it worth it. I wonder if sex is messy with girls too? Hmm, I'm not grossed out that pee comes out of my penis, so I guess I shouldn't be grossed out by what comes out the other end.
I wonder how Dave and I can be alone. Maybe I can use the excuse of showing him one of my hobbies to get him in my room. I finished in the bathroom and went back to my chair to read the magazine. I wasn't fidgeting now.
<knock> <knock>. There he is. I leaped up to get the door. When I opened it, there he was smiling.
"Come on in. Did you have trouble finding our house?"
"Nope. It was easy."
Mom came into the room.
"Hi you must be Dave." She walked up to him an shook his hand. "It's good to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too Mrs. Carter."
"Would you two like a snack?" she asked.
"Sure," we both said at the same time.
We followed her into the kitchen. She had a plate full of cookies. "Would you like something to drink Dave? We have milk, orange juice, and some coke."
"I would like some milk," Dave said.
"Me too," I said. I grabbed the plate of cookies off of the counter and carried them to the dining room table and we sat down.
Mom brought our milks over to us. "So Dave, what do your parents do?" she asked.
Uh oh, quiz time.
"My Mom is a nurse at Mercy and my Dad is an airline pilot."
"Really," I piped in, "I didn't know that.
Mom glanced at me.
"I don't see my Dad much, because my parents are divorced and I live with my Mom."
"Do you have any hobbies?" she asked.
"Only music. I like playing the trumpet."
"Wow, I didn't know that. How long have you been playing?" I asked.
"Oh about five years. I practice with the orchestra during most of the lunch period."
"Ah, that's were you go during lunch," I said. Mom is looking at me with a kind of funny surprised look. What have I said? I couldn't think of any reason why she's looking at me. Dave drank some milk.
"So what do you want to do Ben?" Dave asked after he put down his glass.
"Oh, I can show you my models. I'm putting together a Klingon battle cruiser. We can play with my hamster too. But he mostly just tries to get away.
"That would be neat. I didn't know you had a hamster. I've never held one before."
"OK, you two have fun. I've got to finish the dishes and get dinner going," Mom said. "Would you like to stay for dinner Dave?"
"No thanks. My Mom's already made my dinner for when I get home," he answered.
"She's not home?" Mom asked.
Oh no, Dave, Dave, please don't say too much!
"Not tonight. She works the swing shift tonight."
"Does she work that shift often?"
I coughed so Dave would look at me. When he did, I gave a small shake of my head at him. Mom was still looking at him.
"Actually she works the grave-yard shift a lot, so I don't see her in the morning then," he replied. Whew! He understood!
"Must get kind of lonely," she said.
"Yeah, sometimes," he replied.
She nodded sympathetically at him. "Well back to work for me." She turned and went back to the Kitchen.
"Ready to go?" I asked Dave.
"Grab another cookie if you want," I said as I grabbed one. It's not often that I get cookies before dinner. I lead the way out the front door and across the breeze-way to my room in the garage.
"Wow, your room is out here!" Dave said.
"Yup. Here's the door to the garage." I opened up the door from my room that lead into the garage.
"It's kind of private, expect during the day when my Mom, Dad, or my sister cut through my room to get to the garage." I closed the garage door and walked over to my desk.
"Well, here's what I've been working on." I said, as I showed him the Klingon battle cruiser.
"I used a dentist drill to make tiny holes for most of the windows. The hard part was positioning the flashlight bulb and batteries."
"Wow, that's cool!" Dave said.
I felt his warm body next to me, so I flat-out asked, "So, would you like to play around again?"
"Sure! But do we have enough time?"
"We have at least an hour," I said.
"What if someone wants to get into the garage?"
"That's usually on the weekends. My Mom's the only one home now, and she said she was going to be busy," I replied. I was trying to convince myself too that we could do it.
"Do you want to do what we did yesterday?" he asked.
Oh do I! It seems like that's all I've been thinking about. "Sure we can do that," I said. Strange that I can't tell him how bad I want him. I went over to the door and locked it. Dave was getting undressed. He had his shirt unbuttoned and his shoes off. I reached into the back of the closet and got the towel and jar of vasoline, that I had hidden there when I got home.
"Do you have any magazines?" Dave asked.
"Sorry. No. Do you really need one?"
"No this is much more exciting," he said. He was taking off his pants. I had better hurry to catch up. He took his underware off and sat on the edge of the bed to watch me finish undressing. His dick was not completely hard. I faced him when I took my pants off. When I bent over, to step out of the last leg, I reached forward to hold his dick, while I leaned down more to take it in my mouth. He got completely hard almost right away.
"Wow, that feels good."
I stopped and took off my socks and underware.
"OK, let's pull the covers down." Dave got up while I pulled the covers down.
"Brrr, it's chilly in here. Maybe we'll pull them over us when we get in," I said. I climbed onto my bed and laid face down, but a little on my side. I looked at Dave. He was looking around.
"Where's the vasoline?" he asked.
"Oh it must be under the covers. Find the towel too."
"Do you want to start like last time?" he asked.
"If you want to, but I like it with you laying on me."
"Fine with me," he said. He opened the jar and spread it over his boner. I was nervous. Got to relax. Remember how good it will feel. I took a glob of vasoline and spread it around my crack. Dave got between my legs, kneeling over my back.
"Yes, just go slow at the start."
I felt the head of his cock move between my cheeks. I moved my left leg up some more, so he would have easier access. He reached down to guide his cock. He moved it up and down.
"Tell me when I'm on the spot. I can't seem to feel the entrance."
"Oh, it's up a little. That's it."
"Ah, now I know what to feel for." I felt him push forward right on my ass-hole. I pushed out to relax. His cock started to slide in, so I tried pushing out hard to see if that would prevent the pain. He popped in.
"Ouch," I said. "Just stay still a moment." I tilted up my hips to change the angle some. It started to feel better. Then I noticed my ass muscles relaxing sort of by themselves.
"OK, try going in some more," I said. He let go of his cock and pushed in. "Mmm that feels good." It doesn't hurt. I think he is all the way in now. He laid down on my back and started some slow humping motions.
"Ah, your cock feels so good in me."
"Your ass feels so hot." he moved faster.
There's a hint of the feeling from yesterday. I pushed back at him, hoping he would hump me faster. He did. I tried to concentrate on all the different feelings. The feel of his cock rubbing in and out of my ass. The feel of his chest on my back, his weight on me, and his warmth. It feels like he's going faster and faster. The bed is creaking. Just ignore it. Concentrate. Oh I hope he doesn't cum too soon. I focused on the feeling in my ass. I felt the heat start to build in my face an move down my shoulders and into the back of my neck. I felt Dave's body stiffen up on my back. He pushed in as deep as he could and kept pushing with short hard jerks. He must be cumming. I concentrated on the feeling of his cock moving in me. Ah, there it is, the pleasure wave hit. It didn't seem as strong as yesterday but it was wonderful.
Dave stopped moving on me. I was still shuddering.
"Did you cum?" he asked, all out of breath.
"I think so, it was great!
"What do you mean, you think so?" he asked. "Either you did or you didn't."
"Well, It's kind of hard to describe. It feels like I'm cumming, in my head, actually my whole body. But no cum comes out."
"That's really strange. Don't you feel like you still need to cum?"
"Not really," I said. I could if I wanted to though, but this is getting a little embarrassing. Change the subject. "How about you? Did you cum?"
"Of course I came. Couldn't you feel it?"
I giggled, "I know you did. Actually I couldn't feel your cum squirting into me, but you push in really hard and deep when you cum."
"I didn't hurt you..."
"No, it felt really wonderful. Knowing what you were doing and feeling you trying to get..."
I heard knocking at the door. "Ben" Mom said. Dave jumped.
"Oh no." I whispered.
"What'll we do?" Dave asked?
"Quick get dressed." I whispered. Dave pulled out of me. Thank goodness he was mostly soft, so it wasn't too much of a shock. "Just a moment," I called out to Mom, "we're in the middle of something." Dave put his hands to his mouth to try to keep from laughing out-loud.
"OK, when you're ready, I need to talk to you."
Oh no, "The way she said that, it's like she knew what we were doing," I whispered. Dave tossed me the towel after he was done wiping himself off. I cleaned myself off and we got dressed in about two minutes. I opened the door. Dave zipped past me and hopped on his bike.
"See you Ben," he said.
"Huh, you're going?"
"She want's to talk to you. I might get in the way. Besides if she does know what we were doing, it might be worse if we're both there." He rode off.
Thanks a lot Dave. If he were there, the odds of me getting yelled at would probably be less. Oh well. I went in.
"Hi," I called out. Mom came in from the kitchen.
"Where's Dave?" she asked with a frown.
"He said he had to get home." I sat down on the stuffed chair's stool and looked down. "What do you want to talk to me about?" I asked, trying to act like nothing was going on.
"Are you and Dave using drugs?" she asked.
I was shocked, but also relieved. "No."
"I don't know what's going on, but you've changed since Dave became your friend. You've come home late a number of times and you've missed calling to say where you are when you do come home late." She looked at me with a worried look. I wish she would sit down. I looked away and cringed inside. I guess I'm not going to get-off for breaking those rules after all.
"Well, I'm not using any drugs or drinking," I said quietly.
"Then what do you and Dave do then?"
Only sex. "Oh, we just talk about school and hobbies." Trying to keep the quiver out of my voice. I felt my face get hot as I thought about what we were just doing.
"Hmm. Are you and Dave, uh, playing around?"
I only glanced up at her, "What do you mean?" Trying to sound really confused, but I felt my face get even redder.
"You know, sex"
I gasped, "You're kidding. I like girls!" I said trying to sound a little angry.
"That's good," she said.
For some reason that did make me angry. "But I like guys too," I said quietly, glancing up and saw she was surprised. She turned away to sit down on the couch. I couldn't look at her again. Realizing that I may have revealed too much I added, "I don't know what I want." Maybe with that hint of hope, that this is a 'phase,' she'll leave me alone.
She just sat there, staring off, looking at the kitchen. Then she looked at me.
"If this was a boy/girl relationship, I would have a better idea of what to do," she said.
Then don't do anything, I wanted to say.
"I always knew you would start having sex someday. But I thought it would be with a girl and that things would start gradually, with dating, then more time spent with the other person. So even though we suspected something was going on, it's still quite a shock to see how fast things have happened... and with who."
"I don't think I've changed," I said. "But a part of me has been hidden... from everyone, but me. I just don't want to be alone."
She nodded. "If we were talking about a girl, I would say that is not a good enough reason for having sex. You need to know and care about the other person you're with. I noticed that you didn't know much about Dave, when we were talking this afternoon."
I didn't know what to say. That was true enough.
"Maybe that is the approach we should take here," she said.
I gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?"
"If Dave were a girl, I would say that you two should hold off on anymore sex for a while. Try to get to know each other before starting again."
I felt a pang of hurt. No more Dave? "Why?" I asked, trying to not sound too angry. I didn't want to give up the sex.
She looked away for sometime, thinking. Then she looked at me. "Do you love him?" she asked.
Oh! Now I was shocked. She went right to the heart of the matter. I had not really thought much about it, but it seemed to always be in the back of my mind.
"I don't know," I said. But I sure loved the sex and how his body felt on me.
"It might be better to cool-it with sex then. Take it slower." She paused. "I guess just date him."
Whew, she's not saying that I can never see him. I giggled at the 'dating' comment. "That sounds funny doesn't it?"
"What can we do?" I asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Can we hold hands?"
"Of course Ben. Touching someone is an important part of showing you care for someone."
"How about... kissing?" Tears were welling up in my eyes. Why?
"Ben, if it's too embarrassing to talk about, then it probably is not OK."
"What's wrong," she asked, because I really started to cry now. I leaned over and hugged my knees. She came over and sat on the stool beside me. She put her arm around me. I sat up and hugged her and cried some more.
I thought about the times that I tried to kiss or hug Dave and how he would turn away. Maybe without the sex, he would have no interest in me. Maybe there is no love there.
"I'm not saying you can't see him."
I fought back the tears. Took a deep breath so that I could speak. "No, that's not it... We haven't... Dave wouldn't hug me." I couldn't say, kiss me. I'd lost it again, really sobbing now.
She sighed, "Then all the more reason for you to go slower."
I nodded. She's always sounded so reasonable. But now I was not looking forward to confronting Dave with this. I started to calm down again. I let go of her and wiped my tears away.
"Maybe we can talk more about this later," she said.
I could tell that, even though she was talking calmly, she was actually upset, and didn't want to talk any more.
"What about Dad? Should..."
"Yes you can talk with him. It'll be OK. We've already talked about some of this," she said.
"OK." That's a relief, I thought.
I got up and went out to my room. I smelled the sex in air. No wonder she guessed what was going on. There must have been plenty of other clues. I looked at the messed up bed where Dave was fucking me. I threw myself onto the bed and started crying again. I didn't want to give up that feeling of being held, of feeling Dave's hard penis in me. But if he didn't love me why would he stay with me? He could just dump me anytime. Did I love him? No, was my first thought. 'Damn,' I thought, and really started sobbing. I'm never going to find anyone who wants me and who I want!
<Knock>, <knock>. I woke up with a start. I had fallen asleep. "Dinner is almost ready," Dad said.
"OK," I replied getting up.
"Can I come in?"
I gulped, part two. "Sure." And I opened the door. I sat on the edge of the bed and he sat beside me.
"You OK?" he asked quietly.
I nodded, but tears were starting again. Damn, I got to get control. I pushed down hard inside, not looking at him. "Did you talk to Mom?"
"About you and Dave? Yes." He looked at me and I looked down. "We just don't want you to get hurt."
Too late, I thought. "I'll tell Dave that we have to cool-it."
"We're not saying you can't see him." he quietly said. "Just take things slower."
To late, I thought again, remembering Dave fucking me. I can't say that! What was Dad talking about? What can I say back? Try to agree. "I know. Actually I've been thinking that Dave and I don't have much else in common. But I would really miss how he..." shit, I almost said how he feels when we fuck! If felt my face flush and I started to tremble with the feeling and memory of being fucked. I put my head on my knees and hugged them, to hid my embarrassment from what I almost said and what I was feeling. He put his hand on my back and rubbed. I trembled more and held my breath. No this is wrong. I can't feel this way here. I felt the wave pass and the tears stopped. Whew. I breathed again and I was in control again. I sat up. "Sorry." I whispered.
"For what? Having feelings? They're OK," he said.
I nodded, but I had already pushed the feelings away so that I could talk. "You know all I really want is to find someone I'm attracted to and they are attracted to me. But people, uh girls or boys, that I'm attracted to, aren't interested in me. While the few who are interested in me, I'm not interested in them. It just all seems so random and impossible."
"It's not easy," he agreed. "That's probably why being in-love is so powerful, because it's so rare. Even though it's rare, it'll happen for you." We sat there for a few minutes.
"Dinner's ready," Mom called out.
"OK," I said as we got up. I wanted to hug him, but I couldn't even look at him. I looked down and headed quickly for the door.
"Ben." I turned around and he came up to me and gave me a long hug. I just sighed. Thank god, no more tears came. I had pushed those emotions away for a while.
We went to dinner. I was quiet and my sister kept looking at me, probably wondering what I'd been crying about. I thought about Dave, what was I going to say, and how will he react, especially when he finds out that my parents know about what we were doing!
I went to bed early. I was exhausted from all the crying, not to mention two days of intense sex.
What was I going to tell Dave? I could just ignore him, like he did after our first experience. Well not easily since, we have gym together. Also I certainly didn't hate him. He hasn't done anything wrong.
I could just ignore him, or in other words, dump him. No. I said I would try to pay attention to people who showed an interest in me, even though that's what started this whole mess.
The next day. Gym class.
"Hi Ben. How's it going.
I paused. Now doesn't seem like a good time.
"So what did your Mom want?" he asked
"Uh, I don't know if there's enough time to talk about that now. How about if we get together after school?"
"Wow. This sounds heavy. Can't you give me a hint?"
Coach showed up then, blowing his stupid whistle.
"Later?" I said.
"OK, after school," he replied.
We started class. What will today's torture be? Ah, it looks like more football. Coach had us count off, one to four, to pick the teams. It was funny to see the shuffling going as guys tried to get on the team they wanted. But the counting went fast, so few got what they wanted. I heard yeas and groans when the good or poor players counted off. Whew, no sound when I called out two. After stretching, coach told us to run around the field once to warm-up. Whew, that's not too bad.
When we started running, Dave and I were towards the end of the pack. He slowed down so that we fell back from the group.
"So, you going to give me a hint?" he asked, grinning.
Oh why not, it can't be that bad.
"My Mom, knew we were having sex."
"No shit! Wow! Did she get mad?" He had a worried look.
"No, but she said we would need to cool-it."
"Oh." He was quiet then. He looked away from me. What is he thinking?
"She didn't say we couldn't see each other."
"Ah, that's good," he said giving me a grin, "we can still have some fun."
This is not going to be easy after all.
"Uh, actually I sort of agree with her. But I still want to see you."
He gave me a hurt puzzled look.
"You know kind of date and get to know each other," I said.
Now he had an angry look. "Date! You're not a girl!"
"Huh?" I was shocked by his response.
"It was only sex you know. I'm not a queer." He glared at me and ran away.
I stopped running and just walked. He had essentially called me a queer! But the things we had done. I just can't understand what he means. 'It was only sex.' Ouch, that really hurts. I can't cry here! Bare down, drive the feeling down and away. Whew. I'll think about it later. I guess Dave will be ignoring me now.
The rest of the day seemed to pass in a fog. Things seemed to be going so well, until now.
The rest of the week and the weekend dragged by. Dave just avoids me in gym class. Well I avoid him too. I thought about what to do and what had happened, but I keep going in circles, resolving nothing. I mostly stayed in my room working on models or in the garage doing woodworking. Mom had asked how things were with Dave. I told her that he didn't want to see me again. She was right, it was only sex. I let her know I didn't want to talk about it though. I think she was relieved to not have to talk about it, but she still gave me a worried look.
Well, she should be worried. Thoughts of suicide started to creep back. I realized it was really those thoughts that had goaded me to start taking chances, but I had suppressed those thoughts so deep, that I had forgotten them. 'It was only sex you know.' kept echoing in my head. That actually helped. That loss certainly was not worth dying over. But not being wanted by anyone. That thought was back. And it hurt the most.
Things weren't really any worse than before Dave. I could go back to the way things were before him. I could even try to be on the look out only for girls who were interested in me. Some how I don't think things will happen as fast as they did with Dave, but who knows.
It's Tuesday and I'm walking to lunch. Near my usual bench, where I would eat and read, there was a guy sitting on one of the large brick retaining wall type of planter boxes they had in the lunch courtyard. He stood, when I got near.
"Hi," he said. "Are you Ben?"
"Yes," I said, confused. I'd never seen this guy around. He was tall. Maybe six foot two. Pretty muscular too. I looked up at his face. Dark eyes, long eyelashes. His dark brown hair had loose curls, but it was still way shorter than my hair. Wow, what a handsome guy. I certainly would have remembered seeing him.
"You're in gym class with Dave? Right?" he asked.
"Uh, yes." Dave! Now I had my guard up. Who is this guy?
He glanced around, then leaned back against the planter.
Now he was staring at me. I looked away. Then looked back. He glanced up and down my body. I thought of walking away. OK, I'll stare back. I felt a pang of, well lust. He was gorgeous. His eyelashes were so cute. He grinned. A dimple appeared in his left cheek.
This guy may look good, but this was getting uncomfortable, he's strange. I looked down.
"Umm," he started. I looked back at him. He had a serious look.
"I'm not sure how to say this," he paused. Then he blurted out, "I've been watching you, and Dave said you were a good lay, and I was wondering if we could get together sometime?"
"What!" I said, shocked. Good start. I was 'a good lay!' What can I say? Is he going to beat me up? I backed up. Is this a trick? Maybe he'll beat me up if I don't go along. What about all the people around here. What if they hear. I looked around. No one was near. OK, denial is the safest route.
"Dave's full of it!" I tried to say quietly, but I think I said it too loud. Darn, I shouldn't have gotten mad. I should have laughed it off, like 'Oh, Dave is such a prankster.' Too late. He stood up and he looked really worried. I backed away.
"You don't even know me. Dave's just playing a joke on you... and me I guess. But I don't think it's very funny."
He held up his hands. "OK, sorry. I'll let Dave know his joke was dumb." He dropped his hands. "You're not going to tell anyone else about this?"
"No way," I replied. "It was just a dumb joke. Uh, sorry about blowing up."
"I understand," he said, looking down with a sad look.
"Well, I need to eat lunch... Bye," I said. I turned around and quickly walked away. I couldn't walk past him, because I was too afraid of him.
Dave told that guy! Why? What did he tell him? It must have been enough for him to almost flat out ask me to have sex with him. Does Dave hate me? Is he out to have me labeled a queer? I don't have any close friends who would care. Of course, that means I also don't have any friends who could help me. Is he following me? I glanced back. No. He was still sitting there looking down. Now I need to put some distance between us and some obstacles to block his view of where I sit.
I've got to calm down. Were can I go? Don't think now. Find a place that is secluded and away from large groups. As I looked around, my last view of that guy, sad and hurt, kept flashing up. There's a mostly empty spot. Only three girls were in that area.
I glanced back to make sure that guy would not see where I was going. I couldn't see him, so I went to the spot I picked out. I grabbed my sandwich out of my lunch bag and started eating it, while reading a novel that I had brought with me. That's what I usually do during lunch. But I wasn't reading this time.
What did he say? That Dave said I was a good lay. Thanks for the compliment Dave! You could have kept your mouth shut though. Who else has he told? And how much detail? Is he writing my name on bathroom walls: 'For good BJ and fuck see Ben Carter'. Will I have to worry about getting beat up everyday? Even worse, would I be fending off constant propositioning. Don't flatter yourself Ben. That would be worse, but getting harassed is much more likely. I don't know anything about how to defend myself or fight. I am pretty good, though, at detecting and avoiding conflict so that I have never gotten into that kind of situation. That's why the encounter with that guy had been so scary. He'd been watching me, he said. I hadn't seen him. Do I have to worry about him coming after me again? He looked really worried when I rejected what he was saying. He essentially had admitted that he was interested in me, a guy. Hmm, so he may have just as much to fear, that I would expose him. So he'll either ignore me or come after me to make sure I won't talk. How many people has Dave told? I'll have to talk to him! I better pay better attention to people around me. I don't want any strange guys approaching me. Especially a group of guys! OK, now I have some kind of a plan. I can read and escape for a while.
On my way home, I thought more about what happened today. Dave wasn't in gym class today, so I couldn't confront him. Now what can I do? I had noticed that in gym and between periods, that some guys were staring me down. Am I paranoid now? Were they staring because I was looking around more, or did they know about me? Or had I just not paid that much attention? No, I pay attention. I need to find out how wide spread this is. I have no friends that are close enough to ever ask about this. I could talk to my parents, but they wouldn't know anything. Hmm, my sister hangs around with the "in-crowd," so she may hear things. I can ask her to see if she's heard anything strange about me. Since Mom and Dad know about me, it might be OK for her to know too, if she presses for more information. So I'll look for a time when I can talk to her alone.
Cathy, my sister, didn't come home until just before dinner, so I waited until after dinner to talk to her.
I knocked on her door.
"It's me Ben."
We used to be closer. Now we seem to just tolerate each other.
I opened the door and went in. She was sitting on her bed, with the phone in front of her. Probably about to call her boyfriend. I closed the door.
"I need to talk to you," I said.
"Really?" She had a surprised look, then a suspicious look, like I was about to get her in trouble.
"I was wondering if you'd heard anything about me at school?"
"Huh, what do you mean?"
"Rumors or something. You have more friends than me so I thought you might have heard something."
"About what?" she asked. "What have you done? Something illegal?" she asked, almost with glee. Man, she's really into the 'bad-boy' scene.
"No," I said. Well that's a relief. She hasn't heard anything. Now, should I tell her? Word just might not have got out much yet. Mom and Dad reacted OK, maybe she will too. But she doesn't need to know. I turned to go.
"So what's going on?" she asked. I looked at her but continued towards the door.
"Oh I know, you got a C on a test and you're afraid the whole school will find out," she said with a sneer. She resents my better grades, but I wasn't a straight A student. I get plenty of Bs and even occasional Cs. Grades aren't that important to me, so I didn't fall for that bait. I paused.
"Don't be ridiculous." I started for the door again.
"Did you get busted for drugs," she blurted out. "Is that why you were crying last week?"
OK, I have long hair. Does that make me a dope smoking hippy?
"No way," I said with some anger in my voice.
"Oh come on tell me. It can't be anything very serious. It's not like you're a queer or anything," she goaded.
My head snapped around, "What makes you say that!" Oh no, I'm giving myself away again with my response. "That's ridiculous," I continued with anger. Might as well let her know she was out of line for that accusation.
"You sure are touchy... Wait a minute, you and Dave?" She looked at me carefully. She even moved closer.
"Dave was just a friend," I said frowning at her.
"I haven't heard about him lately," she said.
"We don't get along anymore." I felt my face starting to get red. I got to get out of her room.
"Are you gay, Ben," she asked quietly. Almost nicely. I shrugged, what the heck. I nodded.
"I don't believe it! My brother is a faggot!" Now she had a mean look.
I didn't know what to say.
"So do Mom and Dad know?"
I nodded, "That's what last week was about."
"Ah, that explains the arguments I was hearing from their room. I could pick out your name sometimes, but I couldn't hear anything else."
"So you were crying because they forbid you from seeing Dave?" she asked.
"No that isn't what happened. They were not happy, but they seem OK about it."
"I don't believe it. They get on my case with me and Joe, but they let you screw around with guys."
"But that's not true," I tried to respond, to let her know that they really didn't approve of what Dave and I were doing.
"I'll be laughed at for months," she continued, not hearing me. "'So, How's your fairy brother?' 'Has he gone after your boyfriend yet?'" she said shaking her head.
"No wonder you were worried about others finding out," she said. "Eww, the thought of it is disgusting." she shuddered.
I wanted to leave. Things seemed to be getting worse.
"Well, I haven't changed," I said trying to defend myself.
"No? You just decided to go out with guys. It's a sin you know."
That's it, I'm getting out. I was out of her room, and on the way out of the house, and to my room, fast. My last image of her, was of her glaring at me.
That went incredibly bad! I really didn't expect her reactions. I guess I should of, since she seems to go for the really macho type of guys. I feel panic. She better not tell her boyfriend, Joe. He might want to prove how macho he is by beating me up.
It's a relief to find out that she hadn't heard anything about me, yet. So it might not be wide spread. But will she tell Joe or anyone else? Why would she? Does she hate me? It sure seemed that way. What else did she say? Mom and Dad had been fighting and my name was mentioned. I guess they are not as accepting as they have lead me to believe. So it's probably best that Dave and I aren't together anymore. But Cathy thinks they approve of me and Dave. She didn't listen to me. She's more worried about what others will think about her. Ah, she may keep quiet, so that she doesn't get embarrassed by me. But is any of this helping me find out who Dave has told?
I thought I could go back to the way things were. Or try to only pay attention to girls. Now, I have a strange guy, chasing me, and my sister hates me. She might tell others anyway. Let's think. Also there do appear to be other guys staring at me, which I hadn't noticed before. Oh yeah, and my parents know about my liking guys. And maybe they're upset too. How can any of this be contained?
I have to talk to Dave! The first time I see him, I'll make it clear that we must talk.
Dave was in gym class, the next day, Wednesday. He effectively avoided me all during the period. At the end of class, I looked for a chance to get his attention. Good he was towards the back of his group, which was heading to the showers.
"Hey Dave, wait up," I called out. He stopped. He sort of had to, since I yelled loud enough that other's would think it strange if he didn't stop. He didn't look like he wanted to talk to me, because he only half faced me. I walked up to him.
"How's it going?" I asked. I looked around to see that others were still going past us. In a few seconds, we should be out of ear-shot.
"OK. What's up?"
"Not much." I looked around. No one was nearby now. "Actually I have a problem."
He just looked at me.
"Yesterday, I had a guy came up to me, out of nowhere, and asked me to have sex with him."
"I don't know, he didn't say his name. He said that you said I was a good lay."
"Well you are," he said with a huge grin. "What's he look like?"
What do I respond to? Restate my position on sex or describe the guy? I thought of his dark eyes, that was such a cliche, but it was somehow his eyelashes that were the most attractive part of his eyes. And the dimple that appeared when he smiled. Then he scared me with what he was saying.
I snapped out of it and said to Dave, "He had dark curly hair, a little long. Tall, maybe six one or two."
"Ah," Dave said, "I know who you're talking about. A well-built guy?"
"So do you think he's cute?" he asked, with a smirk.
"You had a far off dreamy look when you described him."
I didn't like the direction this was going. Dave had no right to tell anyone about me!
"So what are you getting at?" I said angerly. "You know my position on sex," I tried to say quietly.
"Yeah, I know your position," he laughed, stressing 'position.'
"Not funny! You know what I mean! I'm not looking for a..." sex buddy. I can't say that! "I'm not looking for only sex."
"I know. You're looking for love," he said while rolling his eyes.
"Please don't tell anyone else Dave. This is really scaring me. I don't want to get beat up or called names."
He actually looked concerned now. "It'll be OK. I have to worry too you know. It goes both ways."
That hadn't occurred to me. He would have to worry about my telling others about what we'd done too. He might even be worried that my parents know about him and me. Maybe he can be trusted. I'm not sure though. Panic feeling. My sister! He may have more to worry about from what I'd reveled to her.
"So, do you want to know his name?" Dave asked.
"No. I don't want anything to do with him," I said, stressing the 'him.'
"OK. What ever you say," he said. Then he got a big grin. "His name is Tony Meyers," and he ran off to the locker room.
I just shrugged, and started walking to the locker room too. So, I have his name. I don't recognize it, but Dave said it as if I should have. Strange.
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